Things are starting to get back to normal here at the asylum I call home. Tami has been back to work for a week now and is adjusting pretty well. They’re going to have to adjust her meds a bit since her blood is WAY too thin but from what we hear that’s pretty typical. I’m starting a fairly big project at work evaluating Network Management Systems for use by the different IT groups. Sean has finished up his summer job and James is doing pre-season Soccer workouts.
And yet, the return to normalcy is a surface effect at best. Underneath the facade things have changed and are continuing to change. Tami has had a brush with death and while it’s made her a bit more fearful in some respects, it’s also brought her peace and and closer to God .
Some of you hypothetical readers will take one look at that and think, “Typical. She got a scare and she went all religious.” You’d be wrong. She did have a scare but she hasn’t become hyper-religious. Tami has always believed in a higher power – call it God, Yahweh, Allah, the Great Baboo – doesn’t matter. She just hasn’t gotten along with organized religion. That doesn’t make her an athiest, just religiously unaffiliated.
So the sun shines a little brighter and the flowers smell a little sweeter. And she makes sure she tells God about it and thanks him. I just think it’s a shame that it takes a scare like that to make people appreciate what they have and the beauty of the world around them – and I include myself in that as well. I’m as guilty of it as the next person so I’m trying to follow Tami’s example.
Another sub-surface change is that Sean is going to be heading back to College in a couple of weeks. I’ve already started tensing up for the series of excruciating jerks as the BandAid gets ripped off when he’s gone again. I’m more the ‘one agonizing rip’ kind of guy so it hurts me more when I keep looking around for him and he’s not there (jerk) or we sit down for dinner and there’s only three people (jerk) or…you get the idea.
Yet another change involves James. He just turned 16 with all that entails – he’s more independent, expressing himself more and exploring ideas that more and more don’t come from Mom and Dad. In other words, he’s growing up and becoming a man. Not the man I envisioned when he was born or when he was a little boy but that’s OK. It’s not important that he become what I expect. It’s important that he becomes who he’s supposed to be. And for the record, I like what I see and I’m proud of who he’s becoming.
Finally, there’s me. I’m going to turn 49 in a couple of months which means that 50 is only a year away and retirement only 15 years (or so) beyond that. Yes, I can do basic math. No, I’m not having a mid-life crisis. I have too much fun laughing at other men who do that to ever want to expose myself to my own brand of humor. By the way, the Mazda Miata seems to be the mid-life-crisis-mobile of choice. In an ongoing, informal survey I’m conducting (a semi-accurate count I keep in my head), Miata drivers seem to be split roughly 50-50 between 30-something women and 50-something men. Make of that what you will.
But getting back to what I was talking about…(why do you let me go off on these side tangents, anyway?). With retirement getting closer I’m actually starting to <cue dramatic music> Make Plans For The Future! What, you’re surprised? I’ve always been one to take life as it comes and not worry too much about tomorrow. That’s changing. Not, I think, because the boys are growing up or because Tami had a close call. I think it’s more just because for me at least, it’s time. Boring, maybe but it’s the truth.
And so, with normalcy and change setting in, I’ll leave you with these thoughts from Queen. For Tami.
The change in her is that she has an appreciation of day-to-day life that she didn’t have before. When a Doctor tells you that if something hadn’t been caught for another couple of days, you’d be dead it makes you think. So the sun shines a little brighter and the flowers smell a little sweeter. And she makes sure she tells God about it and thanks him. I just think it’s a shame that it takes a scare like that to make people appreciate what they have and the beauty of the world around them – and I include myself in that as well. I’m as guilty of it as the next person so I’m trying to follow Tami’s example.
Another sub-surface change is that Sean is going to be heading back to College in a couple of weeks. I’ve already started tensing up for the series of excruciating jerks as the BandAid gets ripped off when he’s gone again. I’m more the ‘one agonizing rip’ kind of guy so it hurts me more when I keep looking around for him and he’s not there (jerk) or we sit down for dinner and there’s only three people (jerk) or…you get the idea.
Yet another change involves James. He just turned 16 with all that entails – he’s more independent, expressing himself more and exploring ideas that more and more don’t come from Mom and Dad. In other words, he’s growing up and becoming a man. Not the man I envisioned when he was born or when he was a little boy but that’s OK. It’s not important that he become what I expect. It’s important that he becomes who he’s supposed to be. And for the record, I like what I see and I’m proud of who he’s becoming.
Finally, there’s me. I’m going to turn 49 in a couple of months which means that 50 is only a year away and retirement only 15 years (or so) beyond that. Yes, I can do basic math. No, I’m not having a mid-life crisis. I have too much fun laughing at other men who do that to ever want to expose myself to my own brand of humor. By the way, the Mazda Miata seems to be the mid-life-crisis-mobile of choice. In an ongoing, informal survey I’m conducting (a semi-accurate count I keep in my head), Miata drivers seem to be split roughly 50-50 between 30-something women and 50-something men. Make of that what you will.
But getting back to what I was talking about…(why do you let me go off on these side tangents, anyway?). With retirement getting closer I’m actually starting to <cue dramatic music> Make Plans For The Future! What, you’re surprised? I’ve always been one to take life as it comes and not worry too much about tomorrow. That’s changing. Not, I think, because the boys are growing up or because Tami had a close call. I think it’s more just because for me at least, it’s time. Boring, maybe but it’s the truth.
And so, with normalcy and change setting in, I’ll leave you with these thoughts from Queen.
For Tami.
These Are The Days Of Our Lives
Sometimes I get to feelin' I was back in the old days - long ago When we were kids when we were young Thing seemed so perfect - you know The days were endless we were crazy we were young The sun was always shinin - we just lived for fun Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don't know The rest of my lifes been just a show
Those were the days of our lives The bad things in life were so few Those days are all gone now but one thing is true When I look and I find I still love you
You cant turn back the clock you cant turn back the tide Ain't that a shame I'd like to go back one time on a roller coaster ride When life was just a game No use in sitting and thinkin' on what you did When you can lay back and enjoy it through your kids Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don't know Better sit back and go with the flow
Cos these are the days of our lives They've flown in the swiftness of time These days are all gone now but some things remain When I look and I find no change
Those were the days of our lives - yeah The bad things in life were so few Those days are all gone now but one things still true When I look and I find I still love you
I still love you
